The Fear and the Fast

Hi everyone, Jules here! 

It's been a while since I last posted and just in case you missed the announcement (thanks Jess!), Janie Elizabeth Lee joined our world last Monday, 10/10/2016 at 10:41am. Thank you to everyone who kept us in their prayers and thoughts. 

Today's post is a personal experience that may be a tad bit too personal, but I wanted to share with y'all nevertheless because had I known this going in, the fear might have not been there... So here we go.
The Fear and the Fast

Every pregnancy is different. Every labor and delivery is different. No two moms experience the same exact experience during this nine month journey and yet, everyone says the 2nd L&D is "easier" and "faster". So, how easy and fast was it really?

With Halie (my 1st), I went to the hospital at 9cm. dilated and my contractions were every 6 minutes. That's what I remember about going to the hospital. Because it's the 2nd time around, I "knew" what contractions felt like and expected them to be certain minutes apart before going to the hospital... Well, my contraction started Sunday evening at around 11pm but I didn't think they were contractions because they didn't feel so bad and I couldn't keep track of it. However, by 1:30am, I'm unable to sleep comfortably and my interval app (that I use for work) was on, tracking the frequency of contraction. It was every 7.5 minutes. Doctor said to come in sooner than later- so this must be it! It's go time. Fear #1 fear en route to the hospital:
Will Han miss the birth of the 2nd because he's staying home with Halie as my mom is driving me to the hospital? 

 Walking around the hospital at 2am sucks.. 

Walking around the hospital at 2am sucks.. 

Once I was at the hospital, I was only 4cm. dilated and pain level was at about 3, until contractions- then it was at about 5.5.. My ObGyn never measured how dilated I was at my last appointment so the hospital had to get two separate measurements before admitting me. After about an hour or so of walking around and doing different breathing techniques, I was at 5cm dilated. Ugh, so slow and painful. 
Fear #2 pre admittance: 
Will they make me go back home and I end up having a home birth?

 Peanut ball inbetween my legs to expedite the delivery process.. 

Peanut ball inbetween my legs to expedite the delivery process.. 

At around 6am, I was now at 7cm. dilated and I was officially admitted and transferred over to the delivery side of the L&D wing.

Epidural was injected and feet started getting tingly. Maybe because I wasn't as dilated as I was with Halie, I actually felt the needle and the epidural shooting up my spine this time around-
a hard prick followed by an indescribable weird sensation... Now, it was just a waiting game. Less than an hour after the epidural, I was now 8cm dilated and Han was still nowhere near the hospital.
Fear #3 in the delivery room: 
Will Han make it for the birth? I don't want to do this "on my own" without the father present! 

Fast forward to 10am, Han is here (phew) and I have met everyone on the team for the day- the nurses, midwife, ped team, and the delivery doctors will be checking in soon. 

 Feeling relieved and better now. It's go time! So you know, selfie time! 

Feeling relieved and better now. It's go time! So you know, selfie time! 

At 11:15am, I meet the delivery doctor for the first time. She checks me and says "Oh my, the head is right there. We're going to start pushing now." Now?? 
After that was really a blur- the entire team came in the room and we waited for my next contraction so that I can start pushing. Here's my fear #4: 
Will I be pushing for hours again? 
Will I be letting out my manly screams because I'm pushing as hard as I can but the baby isn't coming out yet? (This was the hardest part with Halie)
How badly will I tear?

I pushed for less than 20 minutes. It was really about 3 sets of 4-6 pushes. Midwife wasn't present- I was moderating my own breathing (what???). I reached and grabbed for my feet to make the pushing easier (how am I this flexible still??). Doctors said the head is out, now push the body out- WHAT? ALREADY? I looked down to "see" the head and push the rest out. She popped right out. There were no tears, just "skid marks". WHAT, no tear?! 
The doctors complimented how smooth and chill I was. I joked and responded with "So this is why people go on to have more kids... I can totally do this again!" Han nervously laughed and looked away. 
Then, I cried genuine tears this time, realizing how "easy" and "painless" this all was... 

That was it! All those fears were simply just fears that I didn't have to worry about and the entire process really was that fast. 

Now, we're a family of 4 and we couldn't be any (deliriously) happier!