hope fully

Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. - 1 Peter 1:13

Two weeks ago, I had a grand opportunity to attend The Gospel Coalition Women’s Conference (TGCW’16) in Indianapolis, IN. I say grand because 1) It was my first time being away from Halie for multiple nights and 2) I’ve been spiritually dead for quite some time now. Now, I can focus on my first point and write about what an amazing husband I have to allow me to go to this conference but today is the last Sunday of the month- which means Jess or I will be sharing about how we’ve been “spirit filled” in that month. So, I’ll be focusing on my second point and blog about how I’m no longer dead in my spirit.

As you may know, it’s hard to be “spirit filled” once you have a baby. If anything, you’re spiritually drowning and/or dead the first year and counting. The first few months after the baby is born, you’re just delirious and have a major case of cabin fever. So going to church becomes your social place- where you mingle and chit chat with other moms in the nursery room. Nothing wrong with that- after all, church is a place you gather to have fellowship with one another. However, add in few more weeks, if not months, of sleep deprivation, working full time, changes you go through physically (worthy of another blog post) and mentally (mom brain), and you’re now a delirious zombie Christian woman.

Long story short, I’ve been suffering from this bad case of delirious zombie Christian disease and have been left spiritually dead for some time now (1.75 years to be exact!). I didn’t want to go to my church anymore and in fact, I was convinced that church was hurting me more than helping me (Oh, Satan- you’re so good at what you do…).

Attending TGCW in this jaded mindset and being spiritually dead, it was a place where I was able to revitalize my walk and be filled in the spirit again. Not only that, but I also had the chance to really comprehend what the word “hopefully” means. Jen Wilkin spoke on 1 Peter 1:13-2:3 and one of the four points she shared was that we need to hope fully. Her point was we are creatures with sets of hopes in many things- raise in our salary, upward mobility in career ladder, hosting the best dinner party, kids getting into the correct summer programs, straight A’s on our children’s report cards, etc… you get the point right? Jen’s point was that we have hopes in many things therefore we are hope-full. However, our hopes are all partial. As Christians, we can’t live like that. We need to hope fully. We need to declutter our minds (being sober-minded) and turn to Jesus to fill us full of hope (of his return).

This point allowed me to change my lens and refocus on God and church. I’ve been so negative and hopeless in my church that I was actually causing a lot of the hurt. Returning back from TGCW, I’ve decided to declutter my mind and my attitude and hope fully in my church and the community once again. It’s time for me to be obedient and not conform to my “former ignorance” but be single-minded in Christ and “be holy in all (my) conduct”. Let’s live hope fully. 

- Jules