Motherhood Lately - Mommy Guilt

Jess here!

I thought long and hard about what to tackle. It's my very first post and all. All the ideas racing through my mind for weeks and months, they all flew out the window this week. Great. 

Then I thought, what better way to kick things off than to share about my most recent accomplishment in life? Motherhood. 

How come no one warned me about how tough it was going to be? I think every person in this world underestimates the tireless efforts, sweat, blood and tears (all of those, I also mean literally) that parents go through until you're actually walking in the shoes of a parent. 

May 2015, just days after River was born. I was physically in so much pain. I never left that chair nor take that robe off. I was so tired and clueless.

May 2015, just days after River was born. I was physically in so much pain. I never left that chair nor take that robe off. I was so tired and clueless.

Currently, I'm dealing with balancing mommy life with work when you have no one to watch the baby. By the way...

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Shout out to all the working moms out there who make things work.

Shout out to those of you who come straight home from work, cook, feed your child, bathe them, put them to bed, and then come downstairs to put away the toys and wash the dishes. 

Shout out to you who pops that DayQuil in the morning because you know there is no such thing as a rest day. 

Shout out to those of you who cuddle with your babies at night when they're sleeping because you only got to spend 3 hours with them all day. 

Mommy guilt is real. Sometimes I wonder if I should even be working. Is it "right" for me to not witness her first steps because I'm in the office? (This recently happened to me and I may have teared up just a little). Only if there were more hours in the day... 

When I try to do it all, that's when I fall apart the most. My stress and anxiety starts to overwhelm me, my emotions go awry, and my physical well-being gets shot. Someone once told me to just be present and stop trying to be invincible. So simple and true! Be present when I'm working on that proposal at work. Be present when I'm with friends at dinner. Be present when I'm spending time with my husband. Be present when I have those three hours with Riv. When I'm focused on too many things at once, that's when I fail to give everyone what they need. We don't have eight arms, two bodies, and 48 hours in one day. Do your best with what you can and be present with the loved ones you are spending time with at the moment. 

Credit: Anney Park

Credit: Anney Park