This was my very first bible verse I had to memorize in second grade. So many times have I turned to this verse in different seasons of life and so many times, I've been grateful for who God is and how He unfailingly provides.
One of the main reasons and purposes for starting a blog is to be transparent and encourage others that we're never alone... so I want to be honest and open about how I've been feeling lately.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. It's been a constant tug of war in my heart and in my head, trying to not let satan get the best of me. I repeatedly tell satan to "GO AWAY" but I feel defeated most of the time. I have my ups and I have my downs. But my ups haven't been the uppety up's and my downs have been pretty down down. But I know the "darkness" and I remember the darkness. I don't want to be there again. So, I (try to) stand firm and remind myself of all the things to be thankful for and the ways I've been blessed. During my drive to work in the mornings, I tell myself one (new) thing I'm thankful for in my life. Yet, I go to sleep each night super exhausted and wondering how I'm going to survive the next day- what's something I'll be thankful for tomorrow...
I've been longing to feel small lately. It sounds like I want to "run away" and I think that's what it would've meant back then... but this time, right now, I just want to go somewhere open, untouched, uncluttered- to feel nothing BUT God. I lift up my eyes up to the mountains, where does my help come from? I want to remind myself how big and powerful God is in comparison to me, a tiny little speck in this world. My help comes from the Lord, maker of Heaven and Earth. I want to be surrounded by God. the creator of Heaven and Earth. He made all things- the mountains and the stars, the sea and the animals... but he also made me; and he made me in His image. God provides and God loves me. I can turn to him in times of thanksgiving and gladness but I can also turn to him in times of difficulties and sadness.